The Mind of a Stripper

Recently, someone paid me $25 to answer questions regarding my experiences with prostitution. While reading it, he was captivated and decided to pay me another $50 to answer questions he had about my history as a stripper. I should've written this all up this years ago but never had the motivation til someone offered me a bit of cash to do it. Hooray for incentives! Anyway, for anyone interested in learning a bit about the mentality of a stripper (or at least this former stripper) here are my answers:

When I started dancing, I'd already been toying with the idea of trying it out for years. At the time, I was a bit against most of the things that seemed to go hand in hand with the occupation from both the dancer's and client's end but I like trying everything once and don't fully believe I should knock it til I do. Besides, my mom told me she'd done it once (didn't tell me anything else about it) and I was curious.

I'd been working in finances and banking for years already and had just gotten off a bad, stressful shift at work when I finally decided to make my move. I drove to the nearest strip club I could find to see about working there. It was my first time ever setting foot inside a strip club. They immediately accepted me but said I needed a sheriff's card and business license before I could start. I didn't follow up with it, however, and went back to my regular 9 to 5 (well, technically graveyard shift) for another couple of years.

In 2011, I believe it was, I ended up in a relationship with a guy I really liked. He liked me too but was very distracted by other things he had going on in his life so I wasn't getting the attention and affection I needed at the time. I was crazy about him but felt so lonely the whole time I was with him-not an easy feeling for a person like me. It was obviously very stupid of me but while I was with him an attractive male friend of mine started showing me the attention I was lacking and I got a bit carried away with him til I wound up cheating and eventually wanting to leave my boyfriend at the time to be with him. Unfortunately, this guy friend and my boyfriend and I all shared mutual friends and the guy friend wasn't ready for me to make waves by coming out about our feelings for each other. We waited too long to tell though and wound up getting caught instead. My boyfriend left me then and he and the rest of my friends shunned my guy friend and me for months. It was almost unbearable and pushed me to make a few drastic changes in my life.

I HATED my job by then but was doing my best to do what I was supposed to in life with the whole stable job, nice car, nice house, good relationship with a good guy type thing. I'd been doing my best to make it work and not make waves in society but obviously it wasn't working out. I wasn't happy at work and I'd just lost my boyfriend and all my friends. I decided it was time I started living for me and doing whatever the fuck I wanted.

I went to get some tattoo work done as I often do when i need some intense cheering up. While in the tattoo shop, the owner got to talking to me about side work he does and finally offered me a job as an escort. I didn't think it'd work out but I didn't feel I had much to lose by trying other than the stability the job I was working at had offered which had scared me into staying for so long. I called my work up and quit. Everyone at work was absolutely shocked. I'd been one of the best employees at the job for 4.5 years and now I was quitting without notice. It was terrifying but really lifted a weight off my shoulders and made me feel so free. The world was my oyster!

Anyway, I think I tried the escort thing out for a week or so but that turned out ALL wrong for a number or reasons. I was jobless and unsure of what to do with myself. My district manager at the job I'd just quit called a few times to try and get me to go back and finally to wish me luck with my future and let me know there'd always be a spot if I wanted my job back.. I didn't. I thought I wanted to just spend some time selling myself on my own terms and enjoying the sex and money but I was not only concerned about the high risk of STDs and aware that the odds of getting screwed over in such an occupation would be less and less in my favor the more I did it but I was really starting to like my guy friend and wanted to try giving a relationship with him a shot.

I decided it was finally time to try stripping. I walked up to a club close to my house called The Library and got a job. They hired me on the spot but said the same as the first club: that I needed a sheriff's card and business license to work at any strip club. They bent the rules for me a little though and let me work a week there before sorting all that out.

I broke the news to my guy friend that night. He said he couldn't be with a stripper. We'd both started to care for each other a lot so it was an emotional conversation but at the end of it he chose to give it a shot and try to be with me anyway. He became my boyfriend and I started dancing.

I think I was only at The Library for maybe a couple of weeks before I decided to explore my options as far as different strip clubs to work at. The next one I tried was one of the Deja Vu clubs. I worked there 3 days, I believe, but it wasn't for me. I ended up at Glitter Gulch downtown at the Fremont Street Experience and immediately felt comfortable. On top of that, they had and followed the best set of policies (as far as not letting guys touch the dancers, allowing dancers to work any and as many hours as they chose and come and go as they pleased, allowing any and all tats and piercings, etc). I started there, still checking out other clubs around town to make sure it was the best option for me, and wound up working there off and on for about two years.

During those two years, a lot of other things changed in my life including the new boyfriend at the time becoming my fiancé and me later leaving him for the man I'm now married to. Eventually, I started wanting more time with my husband so I quit dancing completely to pursue other endeavors with my husband. Now he and I both work from home, currently making our income from a huge number of different sources primarily, but not exclusively, related to eBay, Etsy, fiverr, and Craigslist.

I've only worked shifts at three clubs in total, though I've been hired by each of the ten or so that I've asked for work at. Some of the clubs hired me from the moment I walked in, a couple had me try out, most gave me the tour of the place and break down of rules right away but none could offer me the full package of freedom, protection from clients, enough clients so that I could make a hearty income, and comfortable environment that Glitter Gulch did so I always wound up back there.

The money was usually really good, though there were bad nights as well as a lot of nights I drank so much on the job that I ended up spending the night with my face in the toilet or sleeping it off in the locker room. I'm not normally much of a drinker but I couldn't handle the job without the booze. I didn't have it in me naturally and I definitely didn't enjoy it as much.

Though an average shift at a strip club here is maybe 6 hours, Glitter Gulch allowed the dancers to work as many or as few of the club's hours as we wanted. I think I averaged about 5 to 5.5 hours per night, rarely staying more than 6 hours, if I remember correctly. I think I tried a really long shift once but didn't profit much more by being there in the earlier hours of the night so I didn't bother trying again.

There were a couple nights when I just stayed long enough to pay my house fee, make $20 or so, and leave if the night was just too slow or I just got fed up with being there. Usually though, I stayed about 5 to 5.5 hours and left with around $400 (after paying the $65 or $75 house fee and tipping out all the club's employees). Nights when I drank too much, it was closer to $200 or $250 profit. There were occasional nights when I made less than $100 profit and a I few when I made $650 or more but making more than $700 in a shift that length in that particular club was rare for me and I think the most I ever made in a night was probably just under $1,000. Of course, if I added the amount I paid to work there for a night (house fees and tips), the figures would probably all be $70 to $180 larger.

There were a few things I really liked about the job. The biggest thing was obviously the money but it was also nice to have an excuse to dress up, look my best, and take care of myself. I also really liked the rare occasion I got to meet a really cute guy I liked and dance for him or maybe even steal a quick kiss. I loved when the club played a great song I could dance to too. Sometimes I'd get so into it I'd almost forget about everyone watching me and I had to remind myself to go and flirt and make eye contact to get the extra tips.

The thing I liked least about the job was slow nights when it was impossible to make much money. Beyond that, however, the other things I really hated were the guys who came in and talked down to me as if I was lower them, treated me with pity, didn't take no for an answer, intentionally wasted my time and didn't pay me a dime, or tried to tell me I should go back to college or do better for myself, as if they knew what was best for me. Some of them just felt sorry for me. Some were disgusted by me and were only at the club for a bachelor party or something. Some just thought of me as an ignorant whore. Some actually cussed at me and said horrible, cruel, vulgar things just to make me feel bad about myself. Others thought they could get away with molesting me or not paying me for my time. Most of them didn't respect me though and they all seemed to think they knew everything about me because they had some idea in their head about what it means to be a stripper or what type of person I must be to be working there.

I never dated any guys I met at the club. The main reason was because I was in a relationship when I started dancing and wound up leaving that relationship for one with my present husband so I was never single while working there. Even if that hadn't been the case, however, finding a match in that club would've been tough for me. With the club's location being in downtown Vegas, most of the men there were tourists. A lot of the men were also in relationships, frequently ones in which their significant other didn't know about their strip club visits. It was also rare for me to find a guy I found attractive there, possibly because those guys tend to be preoccupied with relationships outside the club. Even when I did find one I liked though, it was hard for him to take me seriously or even respect me due to the stereotypes of girls in my line of work.

My club was VERY strict about not letting guys touch us, kiss us, etc. which is part of the reason I chose that club. As much of a pervert as I am, I was trying to make my relationship outside the club work and also wanted the option to be selective about who I slept with and when. Working in a club that allows sexual contact, even just by turning their head when it happens, wouldn't have worked for me because if I ever chose not give it up and another dancer in the club did she'd get paid and I wouldn't. That'd cause me to have to have sex with as many of the clients as possible (or just have really good, underhanded game, which I didn't) to make as much money as possible. Unfortunately, that would eventually likely lead to STDs or even jail time and a bad record if I got caught. Not worth it. Instead, I had to work in a club where no one could get away with anything beyond lap dances so that there'd be no reason for me to make less money than the other girls there based on who would go furthest with a guy. Then, if I chose to, I could make arrangements to meet a guy outside the club for "extras" on my own terms.

At the start, I tried hooking up with a few strip club clients outside of the club for private dances and "extras" for extra money. After a few times, though, I realized I was actually making way more money just dancing at the club. It wasn't quite as much fun but it was safer, easier on my conscience, hurt my significant other less (I always tell on myself in the end), AND paid better.

I was almost always wasted while working at the club, though I usually kept my composure well, but I can only remember one occasion when I left to hook up with more than one guy at a time. For money or pleasure, actually, I think I've only had threesomes with two guys at a time on three total occasions, threesomes with two girls (including me) and one guy on maybe three or so occasions, my boyfriend at the time and another couple maybe once, and more guys than that once. I might be underestimating the totals a little but I think they're at least close. The one and only time I recall being with more than two guys at once, I left the club to meet with four guys and took them back to their hotel room where I fucked at least three of them, I think, and gave a bj and who knows what else to the fourth.

I try not to stereotype or judge guys that go to strip clubs or pay for sex because it's something I plan to do myself at least once just to experience getting a lap dance from a male stripper and paying a male hooker for sex. Different people have different reasons for being there and doing what they do but the only ones I feel any disgust or anger towards are the ones who are doing it behind their significant other's back.

Due to extremely low willpower, an inability to say "no" even when I wanted to, or sometimes empathy towards the relationship I was in at the time, I've cheated more times than I can count. I always knew better but couldn't always bring myself to do the right thing for one reason or another. I've tried to make amends for past mistakes though and do my best to be loyal now. I've also grown up a lot and haven't cheated since I married 2.5 years ago, unless you count the guys my husband allowed me to sleep with when we were in an open relationship during the first month or two of our marriage or the one guy I slept with when my husband left me for a day. (I didn't think my husband was coming back and was surprised and ecstatic to seem him when he came home and found me sleeping naked next to the other guy but didn't feel guilty or anything at all because I honestly didn't believe he'd be back.) I don't support cheating AT ALL, though I do believe monogamous relationships aren't right for everyone and understand the issues between jealous partners and people needing additional sexual fulfillment. I just feel that the partner who needs more needs to have the balls to make a choice or a sacrifice in order to do right by him/herself and his/her partner. As long as that happens and no one's getting walked over or treated unfairly, I have no issues with people enjoying themselves sexually and satisfying their needs as they please.